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Say what you will about it only being a dream, but the power-lust was real. How long would it be before I gave in to it? My mom let it take her, and now she was still trying to atone for her sins.For once, the sermon Sunday at church spoke to me. Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” That passage had been the foundation for allowing me to live without fear. This sermon explored how the love for Jesus Christ made you less likely to sin to begin with. But to carry him in your heart wasn’t enough if you didn’t carry him in your head as well.That spoke to me. I had let my distaste for the church’s fearmongering messages lead me to purposely sin when I truly had no need to. I needed to clean up my act. I couldn’t keep letting my imagination run wild. I needed to focus on the things that were important to me. And I needed to forgive.After church, I went over to Joey’s. After his mother fussed over me a little again, Joey and I went. “I’m eighteen years old and I’ve never been butt fucked,” I complained, “I feel like a freak.” “Ass fucking is freaky, that’s what queers do.” “Screwing a girl’s ass doesn’t make you a queer, you nut!” I screamed. “It isn’t natural.” “Maybe not, but it’s supposed to be good. Ellie Davidson said ..” “Ellie Davidson is a slut.” “She’s my friend and she says being buggered is great, so why am I not getting any?” “Because your boyfriend, who you love very much, is not going to do it, is why not. Accept it, I am not going to ass fuck you. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.” And he was right, I did love him, because apart from the ass thing we got on great, loved the same things, were a real couple. Which is maybe why the anal thing really bugged me. “It’ll probably really hurt me and I’ll never want to do it again,” I insisted. “Which is a good reason for not doing it. Ass holes weren’t built to take cocks.” “Just once,” I pleaded. In answer he pulled out his cock and waved.
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